Stir that coffee

Children change things. If you have children, you probably already know this, but it's relevant to bands, even if no one in the band has kids. Because sometimes kids are at your show, and you have to decide if you're going to change your show due to their presence. And sometimes, you make the wrong decision, and it gets...uncomfortable.

I should start this post by pointing out that if we're hired for a "family-friendly" event, and especially if we're told specifically to keep things clean, we comply. We like to get hired more than once, and you've got a better chance of that happening if you don't pull an Ozzy Osbourne and start biting the heads off animals or pulling out your privates on stage.

But I admit, it gets harder to keep things completely G-rated when your current CD is titled "Sex and Coffee." The song itself isn't graphic, but it does contain the word "sex," so the name alone has garnered giggles from my pre-teen niece and nephew. It's the hazard of being all edgy and rock and roll like we are [insert Eddie Van Halen screaming guitar sound].

It is precisely that little ditty that caused a bit of a "moment" at our gig this past Saturday. We played a neighborhood event called PopUP East Austin. It's a brand new event, and we know the folks behind it, so we donated our services to help get things off the ground.

When we started playing, it was all adults in the audience, but by the time we got ready to wrap up, there were some kids running around. And I mean that literally. They were running around in the grass in front of the stage, tackling each other and trying to hula hoop.

There was one little girl, in particular, though, who was very dialed in to us. I'd say she was about 6, and let's just call her Sadie, for the purposes of this story. Sadie danced, she got very excited when we played a song she knew, and during some songs, she stood in front of us, trying to yell at talk to us through the whole song. She was paying attention, man. Which is why, when Johnny started to play "Sex and Coffee," I looked at him in a panic saying, "Uh, I don't think that's a good idea" and motioning with my head to the kids.

Johnny was not to be deterred, though. He wanted to play the song, kids or no kids, for some of the people we had invited. So, we did. And by the second chorus, I don't think anyone was entirely surprised, when Sadie dutifully shouted, "SEX! And coffee!" every time that lyric came.

I sheepishly looked over to her mother, who noticed by the third chorus what was happening and stood off to the side with her hands over her mouth. She didn't appear angry, since she was laughing, but she was also clearly strategizing how to keep Sadie from walking around screaming that word, which she was likely to do if she figured out that it was shocking people.

When we finished the song, Sadie shouted, "I like that!" Of course you do. I looked over at her mom and apologized on the mic, to the amusement of the other parents, who were probably just grateful that their own kids had been too busy chasing each other to notice what we were singing.

I was shaking my head wondering what the hell Johnny was thinking when Sadie saved the whole thing. Still standing in front of the stage, the music over, us starting to pack up, with much glee, she shouted "STICKS! And coffee!" Joe and I looked at each other, and he busted out laughing.

Why yes, Sadie - sticks! Sticks and coffee! That's what we were saying! Because how are you going to stir your coffee without a stick??!

Coffee with a cinnamon STICK - what else?

Not only was I relieved that I hadn't given a young child an untimely introduction to things she shouldn't know, but by golly, we may have figured out how to sing that song at family-friendly shows!

Okay, probably not on the second thing, but thank the Lord for children hearing what makes sense to them and not what was said. It can be good that children change things.