It's not all pinwheels and candy canes

A lot of our posts are about chronicling our adventures. You learn a little bit about what it's like to be in a band by hearing our stories, and it's a good way for our friends, families and fans to keep up with us. And hopefully, if you're in a band, you can relate to some of the things we do and see.

But not every story can be told in a public forum. There are times when we have experiences that we'd like to rant about, but if we did, we'd likely burn bridges that we might need later. We want to be authentic, and not sound all Pollyanna, like every moment of every gig is a joy to behold.

Pollyanna
Can't you just see the rage all pent-up from unexpressed injustices?
She'd have been served by occasionally just saying, "Well, that sucks!"

But it's a small world, this music biz, and if I tell you, "We're playing Bill's Bar tonight!" and then I blog the next day about how we got treated like shit at the bar we just played, you're probably going to put two and two together and figure out that the people at Bill's Bar are a-holes.

Bill might not appreciate that. And maybe Bill talks to other bar owners in town, and suddenly, we can't get gigs. You might think that if Bill is an a-hole, he wouldn't have friends, so other bar owners wouldn't care what he says. But Bill's not the only a-hole in town, and many of the other a-holes own bars, so it's just not wise to assume Bill is a lone wolf a-hole.

So we suck it up and keep our mouths shut - except to our non-cyber friends, of course, who get the unvarnished truth about things like which bar owner in town is a coked-up douche and which booker is a perv. Hey, we gotta tell someone that stuff!

"If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody,
come sit by me." - Ousier, Steel Magnolias.
Preach it, sistah!

But we do want to give a real picture of what it's like out there in the trenches. So, that said, we decided that rather than writing about specific incidents, we can tell you a few things that have happened to us over the last several years, without naming names, that give you a sense of the challenges a band can face at times. So, here's a run-down of some of the things that can put a pin in that balloon of fun that is performing:

• Bar owners who cancel your gig at the last second. This is a particular kick in the teeth when you show up to the venue, with all your gear, as scheduled and are told, "You're not playing tonight. Or getting paid. See ya!" You'd be surprised how often that happens, and not just in Austin. We have actually traveled to get that reception, more than once. Totally unprofessional, and not uncommon.
• Bar managers who don't seem to like you, or possibly musicians at all, but most likely just don't like themselves or their jobs. It's almost impossible to stay motivated and give a good show when you're not wanted. You don't become a performer because you want to be NOT liked. Getting the stink eye from the manager is a real buzz kill.
• Opening bands who won't get off the freakin' stage when they're done. I can't tell you how often this happens and how unprofessional it is. When you are done with your show, and someone else is waiting to go on, GET OFF THE STAGE! You know how long it took you to set up. Assume that the next band needs that much time, too. If there's a half-hour between bands, and you take 25 of those minutes to clear off, you just left the next band with 5 minutes to set up. Not happenin'. So what you really did was cut into the time they have to play. Not cool.
• Hecklers. This can usually be translated to "drunks." We most often get them before we even start playing, which I always find interesting. Usually it's someone yelling at us to get started (see the last bullet for the most likely reason that it's taking us too long to get going), but it can also happen during the show as people yell songs they want to hear and inform you that they hate the ones you're singing, or someone decides to impress his date by making fun of us, or someone gets mad because we won't let them come on stage and play/sing with us. It's surprising how often people confuse live bands with karaoke.

"Play Freebird! You guys suck!"
Yeah, man. WE suck.

• Bad sound. As a general rule, we do our own sound. We like our gear, and Johnny knows exactly how everything needs to be set up and where we like our levels, so usually sound is not an issue for us - now. The reason we have our own gear is that for years, we were at the mercy of house sound and/or sound guys who didn't know what they were doing or liked a different sound than what we wanted, and too often, it was just a mess. There were times, in multiple clubs/gigs, where we literally couldn't hear ourselves, and it just ruined the gig. You lose all your energy when you can't hear what the hell you're doing.
  Bars who don't pay what they should. This largely happens when you're playing for a percentage of the bar, not a flat rate or guarantee. You're at the mercy of the bar to be honest. Unless you see their take for the night (which you never do), there's no way to know if you're getting your 10 percent. But even with a guarantee, if the guarantee is "$X or 10 percent of the bar - whichever is greater," you can still get screwed. So, if you're not seeing the take, how do you know? Well, if you've been around enough, you know, based on the crowd, how well the bar is doing. You see how many people are there and how much they're drinking and/or eating, and you know how much you've made in the past with similar crowds. So, you also know, even if you can't prove it, when you're getting robbed. And it sucks.

The list could go on, but we don't like to dwell on the negative. We just wanted to acknowledge some of the tougher things that any band will run into if they're putting themselves out there enough. It's all just part of it.

If you love playing, you persevere and find the places where the staff is cool, the crowds are fun and the sound is great. And if you're smart, you don't call out every a-hole on the Internet, where things live foooooreeeeever. You just tell all your other musician friends. :)