Did my driveway sign a release?

One thing I've learned since moving from the suburbs into the city a few years ago is that our neighborhood in the city is way more interesting. Don't believe what you see on Desperate Housewives - suburbia just can't match the random stuff that happens when you live in the city.

Take Wednesday for example. We had just finished rehearsal at our house and were hanging out in the front yard with Joe. As we talked a couple of girls passed by on foot. We didn't recognize them, and they seemed a little sketchy and like they were moving kind of fast, maybe a little nervous. So, Johnny said hello, which seemed to throw them. As I said: nervous.

They walked past us, then stopped two houses down and just seemed to hang out in the street. Um...okay. After a few minutes, we started to go in the house, and Joe got in his car to leave, and they ran up to Joe's car.


They said some guy had approached them and offered them $20 for "the night" (I think that's what they said, but no self-respecting hooker would take $20 for the whole night, so either I'm not remembering exactly what they said, or they left out the details of his offer). They said they ignored him, but he'd circled the block and came back like he was following them, and they wanted us to stay outside until they were sure the guy was gone.

We did, and after a few minutes, they left, telling us they were staying at a motel up the street. We wondered why a couple of young, female tourists were wandering around in an unfamiliar neighborhood, but we let it go.

It did not let me go, though. Because the next day, when I came home for lunch, those two girls were conducting a photo shoot in my driveway! For reals, people. I turned to pull into my driveway and had to stop short, because there was a scantily clad woman in a lawn chair in my drive, getting her picture taken by the girls from the night before. Proof from our security system:

This is the precise moment I drove up. That's my car in the top left of the frame, the "model" is still posing, and you can see the photographer, turning around in shock.

And this is the model, moving her chair out of the drive as I sat in the street incredulous:

Sexy.

Needless to say, I was surprised by this whole scene. As you can see, this girl was way up on my property, almost under our carport. Trespass much? I asked them what they were doing, and the answer was somewhat vague. The photos are for a "personal portfolio" and that was about all the info I got.

We don't know why the girls didn't tell us the night before that they were scouting for locations to shoot, and why they didn't ask permission to use our property, but they were clearly amateurs in every regard. For instance, they had an SUV, but the model decided it was preferable to change her clothes on the street. They were going to have her change in the carport and shield her with a towel, but the model spotted our cameras:

So, instead, they used the towel to shield her from the camera, and she exposed herself to the cars and bicyclists who passed by (yes, some did pass by). Might want to consider bringing two towels next time, ladies.

In any case, they seemed harmless, so I let them have 10 minutes to finish their shots (as I kept an eagle eye on them from inside the house) and then told them they needed to move on. Much as I appreciate strange men pulling up and catcalling in front of my house (yes, someone did that), I'd prefer that my house not be mistaken for the neighborhood Mustang Ranch.

Now, admit it, suburban dwellers: you've never come home to that. Viva la city! But stay the hell off my property without permission. We got cameras, and we're not afraid to use them.